19 août 2018 – Maison Bleue
Aloha you,
Today I’m back at my parent’s after an experimental week with my biological father I haven’t seen for ten years.
They dropped me off in the city where I had planned to sleep at a friend’s. A series of events happened and here I am back in my old bedroom.
I left this bedroom years ago, but I keep coming back to it. This time I brought some decorations from my own home so it feels more me. I can see myself as a teenager girl, but I don’t really remember how I was feeling exactly at that time. I just remember not being well; I was not happy, I was not satisfied with myself nor the world around me. I wanted change and I believed in the best. I wanted joy and laughter. I could see myself trying too hard to be nice to people, only for them to feel good. I was complying to their dissatisfaction with themselves and I was conforming myself into someone I was not.
There is much to observe and learn from in life. We hold the keys to our salvation inside ourselves. I’ve been writing everyday about my thoughts for years now. My thoughts can be about self analysis, other’s analysis, questionings, chats with the divine realm, chats with Mother Earth, messages, stories, and all the crazy creations of my awesome mind. How it works is the game. Each time it’s new and surprising. We embarked on a life adventure where we are lead and taken care of. The only thing we have to do is following the guidance. The path takes you in the extremes, each step feeling deeper and wider.
We have been lying to ourselves for years by looking for these keys outside ourselves. The outside offers us situations and interactions that we have to decode and we hold the keys of the code.
A simple game spoiled by humanity. Now it’s time to play again!
Let’s come back to me now. So I’m sitting on my bed in front of my cards. I play everyday with my cards. I’ve been away and didn’t take all my decks with me, so now I’m enjoying our reunion. It feels like a reunion with my whole. These cards are the mediators creating a bridge of communication between my human me and my divine me. I love them.
Here I am, back to where I left 9 years ago. I left and came back before, but I want to start with this cycle : 2009-2018.
Nine years ago, I was flying to Bangkok (capital of Thailand, South-East Asia). It was my first time there, my first time in Asia. I had the chance to be welcomed by family. They kindly came to pick me up at my arrival at the airport. I felt so grateful. It made my arrival smooth and safe, which felt good when you’re tired by hours of traveling. Thank you. I loved Thailand at first glance. I enjoy new explorations and Thailand is so cool for that. Walking around the streets being amazed at their way of living. I love traveling.
I’d landed, I’d arrived. This was a completely new adventure: I was traveling in a new continent where I didn’t speak nor read the language. My excitation was high.
I was traveling alone, and I had experience backpacking through South America. I was confident.
…
This is the beginning of one of my stories and I am finally writing to you about it.
Today, observe your assertiveness.
More about me:
I love you ☮️
Océanie x